Congratulations BK!!!!

This is a little late...but, for those few of you that read this, I would like to share something with you to celebrate and add to your prayer list.

I got an email from BK (birthmom) recently with some updates on her life. I treasure our contact, even though it doesn't happen often. I feel like every detail I get from her just adds to the whole picture I can give Tred someday. She recently celebrated her ONE YEAR Anniversary of being clean and sober. I am so happy and proud of her. And, she is expecting to get custody of her 12 year old son by the end of the month. This is great news because his current circumstances are not good (living with her deceased ex-husbands' brother I believe). Anyway, all that to say, this is a good thing. She told me when we were in the hospital "God gave me Tred to give to you so you can be his mom. But, He gave me two other children for me. I was supposed to raise them and I have to focus on that now." So, pray that the best will unfold for BK and her son. She has a little girl as well. But, probably won't ever seek custody of her daughter (because she is in a good living situation). Although, she wanted to initiate a relationship with her. More good news...she got to go see her this fall as well. And, she will continue to work on that relationship.

I have almost felt guilty at times because through this whole process I am the one that came out on the other side with the blessing of Tred. I get to snuggle, hold, feed, watch him grow & sleep, see his smile, and enjoy him daily. It does my heart good to know she will finally be able to do the same with the son God gave her. Please pray for her with me. Pray she gets custody, that the transition to a new home will be smooth, and that they can catch up on lost time. Most importantly, pray his life will be changed as she shares the love of Christ and the gospel with her son.

Where did my baby go???

\

Before...

Then....

After...

I think Tred has AWESOME hair. He has a head full of dark, curly hair. Well, had a head full of dark, curly. The last few days I have realized his beautiful hair really doesn't look so cute after he wakes up in the morning or from a nap. It gets frizzy with lots of knots. Multiple times a day I brush it and lotion it. He has also rubbed a few bald spots on the back. Realizing it really wasn't so cute in the back, I decided to take action. So, in my irrational thinking I buzzed his head! What in the world did I do? I mean, I love it. But, I did not expect it to be such a difference. He looks so old! It is the first time I have seen him as my little boy instead of as my little baby.

There you have it...the new Tred!!!!

8 little eyes

"The people of faith wake early because of the

expectation of God's marvelous acts.

Sleep no longer holds them.
They rush to greet the early grace of God."
-Bonhoeffer

I read this quote this morning and was inspiried. How many times do I lay in bed pushing snooze, wishing for "5 more minutes"...which usually turns into 20. OR get chapped when I wake up 10 minutes before the alarm goes off and think "what a waste, I could still be sleeping." OR get dreadfully awakened from my slumber by the little pitter pattering feet coming to take over my side of the bed. I am a slave to sleep. I am a tired woman! I cherish my Z's. BUT, this quote today "WOKE" me up---in a good way.

I should put it by my bedside. Remember it. And, LIVE it. So, in response to these 3 sentences spoken by somone I do not even know, I did something I so often forget to do. I took a moment to take in a few of the marvelous acts God has already done in my life. I STOPPED and held each of my kids today, looked into each of their eyes, I studied them, smiled at them and thanked God for the 4 little blessings in my home. I never forget that I am a mom, but I do loose sight of what a high calling we have as moms...Today I looked into 8 eyes and remembered just that.

From now on, I will not let my late nights, early mornings or sleep get in the way of my calling as a mom. I will rush to greet the grace of God and the job He has set before me.

(This does not mean I will have a warm, hearty breakfast ready every morning for the quad squad...I will, however, have a warm, loving heart ready to serve my kids as their mom:)

Can't get enough!

Summer Pics of Tred...

Thank you Britt for taking these!

I'm Back!!!

OK, so my blogging sabbatical is over. Summer was great, but it was not easy for me to blog. Partly because I was busy, but mostly because I do not know how to do this on any computer other than this one at home. (I know I am electronically pathetic!) We had a blast at K-1, and loved introducing Tred to his 2nd home. Life after kamp....





We took H & H to Disney World after kamp. Big H turned 5! And, Little H did not mind tagging along for her sister's birthday at all! Matt and I had a blast seeing the Magic thru their eyes. The timing could not have been more perfect. It was the perfect getaway! But, I must say after visiting Disney, I needed a vacation from the vacation. We were worn out! While we were there Little H said "Mom, can I have my 5 here too?" I couldn't say no...So, Matt and I are already saving for January 2011. HA!



Once we were back, Kanakuk Movie Tour was right around the corner. Last week was our first week out. We went to Texas. It was a week of heavy conversations as we faced all that is going on at Kamp. But, lots of ministry taking place...God is faithful. The highlight of the week for me personally was Tred getting to meet his namesake. Tred meet Tred...

Tred is 8 months old now. And, he is more of a joy than ever. He is quick to give smiles! This little man melts my heart. His big sisters mother him more than I'm sure he'd like. They are as crazy about him as I am. He has already had some Daddy bonding with his first football season. He is often decked out in OU and Arkansas clothes. And, in a few months he will be sporting his KU gear. Matt is glad to have a buddy to camp out in front of the t.v. on gameday!

We heard from BK (Tred's birthmom)this summer. She is doing well. She emailed and asked for a picture of him. I emailed her back and sent her 10! I want more than anything for her to know he is happy, loved, and safe. Some friends of ours (who just adopted form ABBA) told us that BK shared her testimony at an event. I sure wish I could have been there to hear it. And, more importantly I hope Tred someday knows how much his 9 months in her belly changed her life. I am thankful everyday I get to hold him in my arms. And, I will never forget the woman that gave me that gift.

A Quarter of a Year!

I cannot believe Tred is 3 months old! He is growing and will soon experience his first summer at kamp. We are aware everyday how blessed we are to have him as our son.

Pay it forward...

I am not good at this kind of stuff. But, I would not have Tred if it were not for the blessing and support of others. So, upon hearing about this family I feel I have to do all I can. When we signed with Abba Adoption, there was a family that had previously signed on with them. We met the Hutslers at the conference we attended last fall. They had adopted a little girl 3 years ago and really wanted her to have a sibling. Crossing paths with Eric & Leslie was no mistake. We introduced them to Abba and they signed on soon after. They have had a hard time coming up with the funds to bring a baby home. I talked to the agency this morning and asked about them. They are financially at a stand still. This is sad because they just had to say no to a birthmom due in 2 weeks. The agencybelieves this situation is a perfect match, but the family cannot cover the cost for the remaining balance. I am just putting this out there for anyone that may feel led to give or at the very least lift them up in prayer. They are $4,500 short. This seems like a HUGE amout, but a small hurdle for our God. So, please join with us and pray this baby into a loving home. If you want more information check out the website below.

http://onedollarforonelife.homestead.com/index.html

I am reminded today of God's provision and how He used so many of you to help bring our son home. These two words seem to fall short of how truly grateful we are, but...thank you. We cannot imagine our home without Tred!

Kids are so funny...

Hadley takes violin with one of her best buddies, Carson.  Last week at her lesson I brought Tred.  After the lesson Carson and her big bro, Kade, were wanting to check Tred out.  He was laying on the floor checking them out as well.  Hads came over as if she were showing him off...she is a proud big sis.  Kade said, "He is so cute."  And, dear Carson followed up as a matter of fact with "He's so bu-rown (brown:)."  We all laughed and packed up our violins. 

On the way home Hadley asked me "Is Tred really brown, Mom?"  I said "Yes, isn't he handsome? " She agreed and was left to ponder this new bit of information.  

I love that she never even realized he looked different.  I hope she always sees that way.  My kids are not perfect, but I want to be like Hadley and see people the way she does.

ps...this was for you Jamie

No more cough, fever, or wheezing!

YAY!  Tred is better.  The little guy has been sick most of his life.  Shortly after he was born he got RSV.  It took about a month to kick.  He is eating great, sleeping like a champ and smiling like the happiest kid on earth!   I am a thankful Momma!

A lost wallet can do a heart good...

My wallet was stolen recently and there were 2 reasons I was sad about it.  One, it was a new HOBO wallet...so sad.  I will have to save up for a while to replace it!  Two, (and the real reason I was bummed) my wallet had BK's, our birthmother, information in it.  I was not sure how I would track her down.  I emailed the Hannah House to let them know and asked if they would pass it on to her.  A few days later, I had an email from her.  She is doing well.  I am so proud of her.  I love knowing that she has continued on the right path and to make good decisions.  It is just as good to know that she is at peace with her decision and Tred is exactly where she wants him.  It would be unbearable to know she regretted her decision to place her baby boy with us.

These were some of her words in the email...

"I was so happy to get your email today.  I think about you several times each day.  I hope things are going well for you....I have been doing great.  I have not forgotten about writing a letter for Tred....Thanks again for making a difficult decision seem so right!!! You all truly are a blessing from God.   I look forward to hearing from you soon....Lots of love, BK"

Just a little information and a little small talk....but it did BIG things for my heart.

I did not know that I would know

Tred is a Houston. He feels 100% fully mine...(and Matt's, of course. And, I definately know he is on loan from God:) I know I love him with all my heart. All that to say, I feel as if he were my own flesh and blood. I was so worried about how I would feel at this point before he was born. I did not know a child without my womb or labor involved. Those months of carrying a baby, feeling him/her move inside you, dreaming about what characteristics they would have from each family member, the sacrifice involved in being pregnant...nausea, vomiting, lack of sleep, loss of control with eating & urinating:). I thought that sacrifice is what endeared me to the girls before they were born. And, the anticipation of when they would enter the world. I did not have that with Tred. I did not know a child without all those details that lead up to loving them the moment they enter the world. I now know you don't need those things. Something happened a few days ago to remind me of this...
My 3 girls NEVER really spit up...thankfully. I think it is disgusting, and am repulsed by the smell of spit up. It stains and the smell never goes away and cannot be masked by any spray that I know of. (I know I am a wimp) I am not sure if Tred just likes to share or is just really into recycling. He feels he should share half of each of his bottles with me. I am usually pretty good at catching it with anything but my shirt. I use receiving blankets as burp cloths because so much comes up. I was holding him the other day and he dowsed my shirt with recycled Enfimil. It hit me immediately...I did not care. I calmly wiped it off and continued to cuddle him up. Usually, in a matter of seconds, I would have to disrobe because of the toxic spill. I realized that my gag reflex did not kick in and I was fine with the soggy wetness seeping down the front of my shirt and back....He is mine. When it is your kid, it doesn't matter. I was drenched all over and it did not bother me that there was not one DNA strand that belonged to me. I love him, no matter who he turns out to be, no matter what he looks like, no matter how much he spits up on me. This small moment culminated to this one truth...He is mine. I always "knew" blood would not make Tred my son, but I did not really know. But now, I know.

Home Sweet Home

Finally! We are home and, life has not slowed down one bit:) I think being away so long made me thankful for the choas of the Houston family. I am glad I am not missing out on Had's preschool projects she brings home, Holl's sweet "I love yous," and Neel's first words anymore. The mounds of laundry, carpool, extra diaper changes, loads of dishes, multiple virus exchanges with siblings, and the endless cleaning is all worth being home sweet home! I love our family being together...all 6 of us

Update on the little man...

He is 3 weeks old now. Having some minor respitory problems. The doc said this was common with c-section babies. He is doing some breathing treatments and will hopefully soon be better. I am looking forward to introducing to him to ALL my wonderful friends that have provided much needed prayer and support!

proud dad and mom!

Baby TRED!

He is here. He is loved. He is perfect (I feel I can say that since I had nothing to do with making him:). I wish I could fill you in on every detail since Monday, but I am afraid I cannot even grasp all that God is doing in our family. So, the rest of the story will have to wait. Until then, I will be holding this baby and lovin' him up! Please pray paperwork continues to process through the proper hands in order that we get a timely courtdate...making Tred "legally" ours. And, please continue to pray for BK. There is a mother not getting to hold her child right now. I cannot imagine. She is the bravest, most courageous person I know.

And, we are not so naive to think we are the only ones that need prayer. Please let me know how we can pray for you. I will have a lot of time on my hands in the middle of the night over the next few weeks! I would love to make a time to pray for you.

02-09-09

That's our son's birthday. Our little boy will be born on February 9th, 2009. One year ago from that date a baby shower was held in honor of Neeley and we were anticipating her birth. A lot can happen in one year. And, a lot more can happen in just 2 months. On Dec 8th we signed paperwork with Abba Adoption...2 months and 1 day later, we will be holding our baby. I sometimes feel bad because I did not have to wait the 9 months a mother normally does, or the 3 years a family wanting to adopt from China does. I have had a quote on my mind the last few days...knowing that I have no idea what lay ahead of us, these words have brought me comfort and perspective.

"What God calls us to do is always impossible. Impossible, that is, without His help. It is always too big for us, too demanding. The price is too high. Yet He calls us to count not our lives dear to ourselves. Fathers and mothers haven't much time to think about the impossibilities." -E.Elliot

I am overwhelmed at what God has put together the last 2 months. I know He began the process long before. Knowing that gives me great peace. Because there is no way we would have been blessed to cross paths with BK-but HE made it happen. There is no way we can express to her our gratitude, love and admiration for her, but HE will continue to love her even after we are gone. There is no way WE could work through the endless amounts of paperwork, fingerprints, background checks, and home study, and for the paperwork to be cleared and processed as timely as it has, but somehow-HE did! There is no way we could have come up with the financial support to adopt our son, but HE did through others generousity and prayers. There is no way we have the capability to love this child with the love of Christ, but with His grace and power we will. So many things WE have not done along the way. God has. He has pieced together each step of this journey. And, because HE is behind it, we trust in His plan. We are so excited for what's ahead!

Please pray for our little one and the delivery. We are praying for a healthy baby, but more than that we want the baby God wants us to have. No matter what. BK has never had a c-section. Her 3 previous deliveries have been smooth and I know she is anxious with this one. By the way, her birthday was this week and she turned 34! She and the baby's birthday are only 4 days apart! We love you BK & we'll see you soon!!!!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, Lean not on your own understanding." -Prov. 3:5

Why ABBA Adoption?

For you have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear,

but you have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry,

Abba, Father.

Romans 8:15

I stumbled over this agency before we had officially decided to adopt domestic. Most of the people we know that have adopted went out of the country. That seemed like a great option and we knew we would have a lot of resources and friends that had gone before us through the whole process. But, I had one conversation in passing that changed our whole course. Last summer there was a doctor at camp that I crossed paths with one day. We were chatting in the boys’ health center and she mentioned her youngest little boy was adopted. Of course, my ears perked up and I asked as many questions I could without sounding too nosey. After summer was over and our family was settled in at home, I checked out the agency online and sent off for some information. Little did I know what was to come…Let’s just say there was a lot more going on that term at camp than kids enjoying the waterslides!

Within few weeks I had a phone call from Kandi, the president of the agency. She made herself available for any questions and wanted to know more about our family. Over the course of a few conversations I knew I had to meet this lady. I could listen for hours to Kandi talk about her work and ministry at Abba. As Anne Shirley would say, she was a “kindred spirit.” I wanted to know more about her ministry with these women and how I could be a part of it! She kept saying “it is not just about placing a baby in a home.” At first I wanted to contest that statement---“oh yes it is! It is all about the baby and finding that baby a loving family!” I soon began to see what she meant. ABBA’s mission reaches far beyond placing a child. They believe God is at work on all sides. They come alongside these moms. They love them with the love of Christ. They serve them-from driving them to get groceries to doctor appointments to shopping to those fast food cravings. (BK just satisfied her craving today with a McD’s burger) They speak Truth to them, and attend Bible class daily. They help them with recovery and reconciliation. They show the mom the worth of the child she is carrying . They provide a home, a haven, a place of safety. These moms are removed from their unhealthy circumstances, taken care of, and have a Godly support system surrounding them.

There are so many other alternatives a birth mother could choose. ABBA not only shares with these ladies what God’s choice would be, they walk alongside them throughout the whole process, providing Godly wisdom, Biblical truth and prayerful hearts. These moms leave changed! And, in our case…SAVED!!!

BK…I love you and pray for you and our unborn baby. He is amazing, huh? He has already touched our lives in huge ways. I am so proud of you and would not want another woman in the world to have been growing this baby in her belly for the past 8 months. You really are a hero! I am so thankful to get to be a part of your story.

Little Man, as I said, you really have already touched your mommies and daddy’s lives’ in huge ways, yet you have not even taken your first breath. And, I can’t wait to watch that happen...to watch you fill your lungs with air and see your face. We are counting down the days until we get to hold you. Your sisters are dreaming up names for you…some good and some not so good. You are our little prince. We pray you are healthy and we are trusting God with your little body. I hope to see you next week at your last ultrasound!

We met!

Our birth mother (I'll refer to her by her initials, BK) is priceless! We had a great time. There was little conversation at first...we were all so nervous. But, I left the meeting with no regrets and nothing was left unsaid. There were two highlights of the conversation. I told her I felt a lot of pressure in our meeting. I wanted to soak up as much of her as I could because I knew this was the one chance I had to get any answers to questions our little boy might someday ask. She was easy to talk to and told me to ask away. I want to accurately portray her to our boy and I told her I did not want to put words in her mouth, or try to communicate her situation without knowing all the facts. I know someday he will ask "Mommy, why did she give me up?" So my question was, "Why are you placing him up for adoption?" She paused a moment and replied. "I want him to have a mom and dad. A family. I cannot give him that. He deserves a family and it would not be fair to keep him in hopes one will come along. I already have a son without a father and it's not a good situation." She complimented us and went on to tell us why she picked us. Then later in the conversation..."We want you to know your name will be openly talked about in our home. He will always know who you are and your name will be honored. We want him to know about you...what do you want him to know?" There was a moment of anticipation as we waited for her answer. She said, with her hands rubbing her belly, "I want him to know he has changed my life. If I were not pregnant, I would have never walked thru the doors of Hannah House and would still be living in addiction. He saved my life. God did not just put a baby in my belly, He has put something in my heart." She knows Jesus now because of the love and Truth Abba Adoption and Hannah House shared with her, and all because she chose life for this baby. Those are the highlights. There were so many realities in BK's past we learned that were so sad. She has been through a rough season....a season that lasted 15 years. In spite of all of that, God's glory still shines! He has set her apart now. He dug deep into a pit of sin and pulled her out of the darkness. And, now she walks with Him! She talked about what she is learning and reading in the Bible; and, she referred to Jesus as her friend. She shared what she wants to pursue after the baby is born, her goals and how she wants to help others with her testimony.

Have you ever met someone or seen a person and thought "they are hopeless, they are a lost cause, they are too hard and far gone, they would never stop what they are doing or desire the things of God?" Not necessarily because you doubt God, but because you think there is no way that person would EVER repent of their sin?...I don't know...but I think I probably would have thought that about BK. If I knew her before, I may have thought she was too hardened, too closed, too lost to even be interested in the person of Jesus. I really do not even like thinking about what judgements I would have made in the depths of my heart...BUT, I am thankful for the hope she has given me. Some think we are blessing someone because we are adopting a baby, the truth is we are blessed. Not just by this child, but by getting to be a part of this woman's story. I see my God even bigger now because of the work He has done in her life...Thank you BK for blessing ME! We love you and can't wait to meet our little boy.

My baby momma

Our Birth Mom has had a major life change. Let’s just say, it is a miracle that she even chose life for her child. This pregnancy has brought her face-to-face before God. She cares for this baby enough to place him in the home of loving parents that will welcome him as their own. I know she has placed another baby in the past, but because of her circumstances, can't remember when. By God’s grace and His plan our birth mom stumbled into the arms of a Christian ministry. She is in a residential living facility for pregnant women. At this home, the goal is to provide help to pregnant and troubled young women whose needs are not being met in their present situation. The program is a Christian alternative to abortion, and they provide food, shelter, education, and assistance in obtaining medical care for the young woman during pregnancy. The home offers opportunities for counseling and Christian guidance in making a permanent plan after the birth. During her stay there, our birth mom has made some amazing changes and decisions. She has been clean from all drugs and turned away from her 15 years of living in addiction. She has lessened her smoking from a pack a day to 3 cigarettes a day. She is taking online classes in order to pursue a career after the baby is born. She has an older son and is looking forward to being a better mom to him in the future. Most importantly, she now knows the God that placed that precious boy inside her body. To say the very least, God is at work in this woman’s life.

THE Meeting

I have thought about what our adoption journey would look like almost daily for the last 5 years. Wondering...Where is the mom right now? When will it happen? Will it be a boy or girl? What will he or she look like? What name will we pick? So many unknowns. But, I always knew one thing...I wanted to meet her, I wanted to tell her a few things...
1) God loves you so much and so do we. There is nothing that can seperate you from His love-ever.
2) You are so brave for choosing life for your child. This process can't be easy and I admire you so much for your decision.
3) We have been praying for you for a long time, we still pray for you, and will continue to pray for you.
4) Thank you for choosing us. Thank you for blessing us with the incredible gift of a child...your child. You know more about the sacrifice our God made than I do in this moment. He is proud of you, and still He loves you.
5) Our child will always know about you, and in our home your name will always be praised. He will bless your name and you will be honored.

In a few days, we get the opportunity to do this. I am sick to my stomach with nervousness, and at the same time excited to lay eyes on this woman I do not even know. I want to look in her eyes, feel her belly and hug her neck! (if she will let me:) I fear I have dreamt of this day too much and have too much expectation. In spite of that, I will hope for the best and pray there will be a wonderful connection between the two of us...two mothers that love the same child.

I have finally figured this whole blog thing out...and will keep it updated with the details of meeting our birthmother and of the adoption. I know many of you I have not even spoken to yet, and I hope this gives you a glimpse of what is going on in the Houston world!

You have receiced a spirit of adoption. When we cry, "Abba! Father!" it is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Chirst-if, in fact, we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him. Romans 8:15-17