Thursday, February 18, 2010

3 birthdays in 3 weeks

OK, we just celebrated a 4th birthday, a 2nd birthday and a 1st birthday. The first 2 months of every year will forever be busy for us. They grow up so fast. A few things have been on my mind and my heart has almost burst with emotion as we crossed each of these milestones...forgive me as I muddle to find the words of reflection on these three...
Holland: 4

You are getting bigger right before my eyes. I can't believe you are a big sister to 2 now! You love with all your heart. There was a day when I wondered if there was a gentle bone in your body. You were such a strong little baby. Tough. Stubborn. Feisty. Independent. In some ways you are still all those. I never found that gentle bone, but I did find a gentle heart. The way God has created you, Holland, is so wonderful. I love discovering things about you. Things you love and the things you notice, words you like to say, and your love for lip gloss, I will never forget! You are the one that is quickest to say, "I love you," "You look pretty," "I like your shirt," or "Mom, they said a bad word." I believe God will use your love of people someday. You have a way of making people feel so good and, you desire to please others. I hope to instill in you as you grow up, you only have to please the Lord. There is nothing that would please your mom and dad more. So, keep on living that way Holland! Be tough in every way you want, but keep that sweet heart of yours just the way it is and soft towards Jesus.

Neeley: 2

Ohhhhh...much like your bigger sister, but more. I did not know what strong-willed was until you. Your dad and I believe you will make a great warden in a women's prison someday. On day's that you challenge me, I am quick to hear your dad's voice reminding me how great it is that you are so independent. You are not a follower. You are a leader. I wonder if it is because you are the youngest of 3 sisters and a big sister to a brother less than a year younger than you. I promise to never let you slip through the cracks. Your first day of school, the day you accept Christ as your Savior (prayerfully), your senior prom, your transition off to college, and all your other milestones will be celebrated with much support and involvement by your parents. I was worried before you were born that having a 3rd girl would not be as exciting. Would I feel like I had "been there done that?" I was wrong. What a surprise you were! I felt like I was a parent for the first time! You were so unlike my other two! I should not have been surprised. You had this head full of black hair that stood straight up. You were so small, I just wanted to protect you and hold you all the time. It was painful to move you out of your bassinet and into your own room. It seemed so far away from me. So, even though you were 3rd, you were a first for me. God knit you were fearfully & wonderfully made. Uniquely and specifically made for this family. Even on the days we spend the majority of our time sitting in the "no no chair," I am so thankful for you. I cherish the times you let me cuddle you and I memorize the moments you lay your head on my shoulder. I can't wait to see what you grow up to be...

Tred: 1

My little man. I am the second mother to love you. But, I don't feel like I got 2nd place. I get the honor of being your first and only Mommy. I am aware everyday that you could have easily been set on another path. I know how it feels to love a child you carry 9 months and deliver. There is an instant love for that child, even before birth. BUT, I also know what it is to love a child I did not carry within and deliver with the same intensity and depth. That is how I feel about you. You could not be anymore mine. I could not have anticipated how good it was going to be! Tred, I love you and your sisters this much...(arms stretching wide open as much as I can) and more. But, dear little one I have discovered corners of my heart I didn't know existed. Because of you, I love more, bigger, and better than before. I remember seeing you for the first were in the womb. We were at an ultrasound, it was one of those high tech 3D machines. It was shocking, your face was so clear and it was so is now a face I love and have memorized. A face I look forward to seeing every morning when I walk in your room. I rush to pick you up out of your crib to hold your precious little body. And, your smile by the melts my heart. It will be hard to discipline you someday because I think if you smile at me, I will quite possibly be distracted and you will go unscathed by my wrath. My love for you almost seems painful at times because I know the sacrifice it took to bring you into this world and into this home. I hope I never let a day go by that I take that for granted. I am so thankful that your first mother loved you so much that she gave you a Mommy AND a Daddy. We are blessed. God has shown Himself faithful, as many times before, through you. I pray you never doubt your first mother's love for you, our love for you, and most importantly, your Heavenly Father's love for you.
Well, there you have it, in writing. With much left unsaid, and...maybe too much said. I know there is a lot I can do to "mess up" my kids...By God's grace I will survive this whole parenting thing. And, by His grace I will do more than survive it...I hope to hear "well done my good and faithful servant." I am so thankful Jesus bridges all the gaps! I want more than anything for them to know they are fully known, accepted, and LOVED.
Thank for reading the sappy ramblings of this mom...


plainlyjane said...

You are such a wonderful mom. I almost cried reading Neeley's section! I hope someday if I am a mom I love on my kids half as well as you do.

Bronwyn said...


Great words for all your kids. Did you cry as you wrote this? I think I would have as I reflected on each of my kiddos. Thanks for blogging!

Ashley Robbins said...

totally in tears with a combination of a pj friday of needed rest and your blog!

Jamie Jo said...

Love it! Keep blogging! You are a super mom and I love being a part of your life even in this very small way!

Kathy H. said...

Beautifully said. You reached the heart of what it means to be a MOM.

Sarah said...

hi Melissa,

My husband and I are considering using Abba Adoption Agency to adopt a child. From what I can see, your family used them to adopt your precious little boy. I'd love to hear more about your experience, if possible. Would you mind emailing me?

in christ,
sarah ward