Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Why ABBA Adoption?

For you have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear,

but you have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry,

Abba, Father.

Romans 8:15

I stumbled over this agency before we had officially decided to adopt domestic. Most of the people we know that have adopted went out of the country. That seemed like a great option and we knew we would have a lot of resources and friends that had gone before us through the whole process. But, I had one conversation in passing that changed our whole course. Last summer there was a doctor at camp that I crossed paths with one day. We were chatting in the boys’ health center and she mentioned her youngest little boy was adopted. Of course, my ears perked up and I asked as many questions I could without sounding too nosey. After summer was over and our family was settled in at home, I checked out the agency online and sent off for some information. Little did I know what was to come…Let’s just say there was a lot more going on that term at camp than kids enjoying the waterslides!

Within few weeks I had a phone call from Kandi, the president of the agency. She made herself available for any questions and wanted to know more about our family. Over the course of a few conversations I knew I had to meet this lady. I could listen for hours to Kandi talk about her work and ministry at Abba. As Anne Shirley would say, she was a “kindred spirit.” I wanted to know more about her ministry with these women and how I could be a part of it! She kept saying “it is not just about placing a baby in a home.” At first I wanted to contest that statement---“oh yes it is! It is all about the baby and finding that baby a loving family!” I soon began to see what she meant. ABBA’s mission reaches far beyond placing a child. They believe God is at work on all sides. They come alongside these moms. They love them with the love of Christ. They serve them-from driving them to get groceries to doctor appointments to shopping to those fast food cravings. (BK just satisfied her craving today with a McD’s burger) They speak Truth to them, and attend Bible class daily. They help them with recovery and reconciliation. They show the mom the worth of the child she is carrying . They provide a home, a haven, a place of safety. These moms are removed from their unhealthy circumstances, taken care of, and have a Godly support system surrounding them.

There are so many other alternatives a birth mother could choose. ABBA not only shares with these ladies what God’s choice would be, they walk alongside them throughout the whole process, providing Godly wisdom, Biblical truth and prayerful hearts. These moms leave changed! And, in our case…SAVED!!!

BK…I love you and pray for you and our unborn baby. He is amazing, huh? He has already touched our lives in huge ways. I am so proud of you and would not want another woman in the world to have been growing this baby in her belly for the past 8 months. You really are a hero! I am so thankful to get to be a part of your story.

Little Man, as I said, you really have already touched your mommies and daddy’s lives’ in huge ways, yet you have not even taken your first breath. And, I can’t wait to watch that happen...to watch you fill your lungs with air and see your face. We are counting down the days until we get to hold you. Your sisters are dreaming up names for you…some good and some not so good. You are our little prince. We pray you are healthy and we are trusting God with your little body. I hope to see you next week at your last ultrasound!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

We met!

Our birth mother (I'll refer to her by her initials, BK) is priceless! We had a great time. There was little conversation at first...we were all so nervous. But, I left the meeting with no regrets and nothing was left unsaid. There were two highlights of the conversation. I told her I felt a lot of pressure in our meeting. I wanted to soak up as much of her as I could because I knew this was the one chance I had to get any answers to questions our little boy might someday ask. She was easy to talk to and told me to ask away. I want to accurately portray her to our boy and I told her I did not want to put words in her mouth, or try to communicate her situation without knowing all the facts. I know someday he will ask "Mommy, why did she give me up?" So my question was, "Why are you placing him up for adoption?" She paused a moment and replied. "I want him to have a mom and dad. A family. I cannot give him that. He deserves a family and it would not be fair to keep him in hopes one will come along. I already have a son without a father and it's not a good situation." She complimented us and went on to tell us why she picked us. Then later in the conversation..."We want you to know your name will be openly talked about in our home. He will always know who you are and your name will be honored. We want him to know about you...what do you want him to know?" There was a moment of anticipation as we waited for her answer. She said, with her hands rubbing her belly, "I want him to know he has changed my life. If I were not pregnant, I would have never walked thru the doors of Hannah House and would still be living in addiction. He saved my life. God did not just put a baby in my belly, He has put something in my heart." She knows Jesus now because of the love and Truth Abba Adoption and Hannah House shared with her, and all because she chose life for this baby. Those are the highlights. There were so many realities in BK's past we learned that were so sad. She has been through a rough season....a season that lasted 15 years. In spite of all of that, God's glory still shines! He has set her apart now. He dug deep into a pit of sin and pulled her out of the darkness. And, now she walks with Him! She talked about what she is learning and reading in the Bible; and, she referred to Jesus as her friend. She shared what she wants to pursue after the baby is born, her goals and how she wants to help others with her testimony.

Have you ever met someone or seen a person and thought "they are hopeless, they are a lost cause, they are too hard and far gone, they would never stop what they are doing or desire the things of God?" Not necessarily because you doubt God, but because you think there is no way that person would EVER repent of their sin?...I don't know...but I think I probably would have thought that about BK. If I knew her before, I may have thought she was too hardened, too closed, too lost to even be interested in the person of Jesus. I really do not even like thinking about what judgements I would have made in the depths of my heart...BUT, I am thankful for the hope she has given me. Some think we are blessing someone because we are adopting a baby, the truth is we are blessed. Not just by this child, but by getting to be a part of this woman's story. I see my God even bigger now because of the work He has done in her life...Thank you BK for blessing ME! We love you and can't wait to meet our little boy.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

My baby momma

Our Birth Mom has had a major life change. Let’s just say, it is a miracle that she even chose life for her child. This pregnancy has brought her face-to-face before God. She cares for this baby enough to place him in the home of loving parents that will welcome him as their own. I know she has placed another baby in the past, but because of her circumstances, can't remember when. By God’s grace and His plan our birth mom stumbled into the arms of a Christian ministry. She is in a residential living facility for pregnant women. At this home, the goal is to provide help to pregnant and troubled young women whose needs are not being met in their present situation. The program is a Christian alternative to abortion, and they provide food, shelter, education, and assistance in obtaining medical care for the young woman during pregnancy. The home offers opportunities for counseling and Christian guidance in making a permanent plan after the birth. During her stay there, our birth mom has made some amazing changes and decisions. She has been clean from all drugs and turned away from her 15 years of living in addiction. She has lessened her smoking from a pack a day to 3 cigarettes a day. She is taking online classes in order to pursue a career after the baby is born. She has an older son and is looking forward to being a better mom to him in the future. Most importantly, she now knows the God that placed that precious boy inside her body. To say the very least, God is at work in this woman’s life.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

THE Meeting

I have thought about what our adoption journey would look like almost daily for the last 5 years. Wondering...Where is the mom right now? When will it happen? Will it be a boy or girl? What will he or she look like? What name will we pick? So many unknowns. But, I always knew one thing...I wanted to meet her, I wanted to tell her a few things...
1) God loves you so much and so do we. There is nothing that can seperate you from His love-ever.
2) You are so brave for choosing life for your child. This process can't be easy and I admire you so much for your decision.
3) We have been praying for you for a long time, we still pray for you, and will continue to pray for you.
4) Thank you for choosing us. Thank you for blessing us with the incredible gift of a child...your child. You know more about the sacrifice our God made than I do in this moment. He is proud of you, and still He loves you.
5) Our child will always know about you, and in our home your name will always be praised. He will bless your name and you will be honored.

In a few days, we get the opportunity to do this. I am sick to my stomach with nervousness, and at the same time excited to lay eyes on this woman I do not even know. I want to look in her eyes, feel her belly and hug her neck! (if she will let me:) I fear I have dreamt of this day too much and have too much expectation. In spite of that, I will hope for the best and pray there will be a wonderful connection between the two of us...two mothers that love the same child.

I have finally figured this whole blog thing out...and will keep it updated with the details of meeting our birthmother and of the adoption. I know many of you I have not even spoken to yet, and I hope this gives you a glimpse of what is going on in the Houston world!

You have receiced a spirit of adoption. When we cry, "Abba! Father!" it is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Chirst-if, in fact, we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him. Romans 8:15-17